onsdag 21. januar 2009

Sunrise

She had been watching him sleeping for almost 4 hours. Its funny how quickly time can pass by sometimes. Perhaps she should just get up now. It was after all 5:30 and she knew she had a lot to do that day. With visitors coming and everything. Besides she could watch the sunrise in 30 minutes. It was a long time since she had ever done such a thing. She got up and found some suitable warm clothes. The jar of coffee was on the counter and she sure could use some. She looked out at the fogged lake and the dusk-wet grass as the wonderful smell o fresh coffee filled the kitchen. How peaceful it was. Like watching somebody you love, sleeping. She sighed happily as she took at her dear one before she closed the door. She picked up the blanket from the couch on her way out and shut the door as quietly as she could.

She walked across the wet lawn full of spider webs towards the water. She sat down on a bench at the edge of shore and wrapped the blanket around her legs. Her jacket was pretty hot you see. Her thoughts started to wander off. Time was a curiosity of hers. Time flew pass 100 miles per hour and faster when she watched her husband sleep. They were young and had just gotten married a couple of months ago. Maybe that’s why she still thought he was beautiful. And why would she ever think otherwise? Of course she wouldn’t. She would love and cherish till death did them part as she had promised. She could see the faint breaking of light in the horizon behind the fog. The day was approaching from the other side of the world, where there were other people who had already watched the sunrise that morning. It looked beautiful! She had always thought the sunrise passed away so quickly. Just like when she was watching her husband sleep. So beautiful. So peaceful. So problem-free. And before you know it you have to wait another 24 hours before you see it again. The sea was barely moving which was odd this time of year. The weather was usually pretty awful really. At least there had been for the last couple of weeks.

He woke up from all the bird singing. A little mad about the disturbance, he turned over and saw that his wife wasn’t there. Where had she gone? He figured she had just gone to the bathroom and wanted to turn over again, but he could might as well get up now. Besides the sun was coming up and he might as well rise with it. The house was a little cold and he made sure to put warm clothes on, in case he decided to go for a walk. As he got out to the kitchen he noticed that there was hot coffee in the machine. He hoped a bit that all the extra coffee was something she had made on purpose for him. It did sound like something she would do. He found a cup and sipped it while all of a sudden he noticed her on the bench at the shore. He drank his coffee a little faster than he really meant to and had to drink a cup of water to cool down. His heart was beating faster and the whole inside of his body turned glowing hot. He knew this was not the coffee. He wanted to go out there to her. He couldn’t just stand there could he? It had been a long time since they had been sitting there like that themselves. He put his cup counter and closed the door carefully. He didn’t want her to know he was coming.
Halfway across the lawn he stopped. He put his hands in his jeans-pockets and tilted his head slightly to the side. When he turned around he noticed that he had stepped in her exact footsteps through the wet grass. He had to smile of his own thoughts. It would matter if she put her footprints in the dessert, the mud or anywhere. He would follow. He loved her. That’s why.

She closed her eyes. She could hear her breath. She opened them again. Now she could see it too. She came to think about the day she first had met him. It was a chilly October morning just like this. They had been sitting nest to each other on a bench in the park and kept throwing bread to that same bird over and over again. Afterwards they had gone for coffee. She smiled at her feet. She decided that later they could drink coffee together and feel the heat from each other a crisp October morning. Just like they did three years ago. He lit up her face that morning three years ago. No wonder he couldn’t stop smiling when he was everything such a gorgeous woman wanted. He still couldn’t stop smiling. This morning. Cold as it was. Three years later. He loved her. And he had promised to do so till death did them part. He didn’t know what light that woke him up in the morning. The sun or her?

She could hear somebody stepping in the grass and leaning towards the fence. In the corner of her eye she saw it was him. He was wearing that red squared shirt he knew she loved. She had that morning glow over her face she knew he loved. Only she couldn’t help that. He wanted to open his mouth but no reasonable words really came to mind. He ended up just staring at her. He knew she noticed and even though she had told him so many times that it freaked her out, they both knew deep down that she thought it was so sweet. She figured he would want to say something soon, but she didn’t want him to feel like he had to. She couldn’t hold it in any longer.
“Do you remember how we met?” He assumed she wasn’t in need of an answer. That would be insulting. “It was a cold York-morning like this one. We both had gotten up with the wrong foot that morning I guess. We were just sitting there next to each other. None of us really wanted to go to work. We sat there with each our piece of expired bread. It was about to rain. There were very few people around cause they had already gone to work. You told me you could use some coffee and a raise. I thought you were funny and I said ‘I don’t know if there is a job in the world where they give out raises but there is a coffee bar on the corner.’ You laughed back at me then. I lit up. You remember?” He wanted to tell her that he had been thinking about the exact same thing this morning. That he smiles when she lights up and that she lights up when he smiles. It sounded too stupid to say out loud.
“Of course I remember.”

It was quiet for a while. They were both looking at the sea. There was no sea in the park of York, three years ago. This morning it appeared more graciously than ever. Even with the coffee smell in the air.
“You couldn’t sleep?” he asked. He knew that she had trouble sleeping sometimes.
“No, I was thinking about everything we have to do today and all I should have done yesterday and it stressed me out a little I guess. I needed peace and I thought I’d find it here.” She gazed out as if she was a sailor seeking the horizon.
“Well you sure as hell need no beauty sleep, I can tell you that.” Oh that boyish charm. He never forgot and she had always loved it. It was like falling in love with him all over again when he said things like that. She wondered if he had all those lines remembered or if he made them up as he went along. She remembered those cheesy lines. He probably thought he was doing so well but she could tell he was really nervous. Nervous boys aren’t always charming really. At least not when they had passed their teenagers. He told her it was because he didn’t know what to say to such a beautiful woman. Stupid as she was she fell for it. 2 and a half years later she was the happiest woman in the world. He had no idea what he was doing right. What did he do that made her want to be with him? Probably best not to ask questions. Well he never gave up on those cheesy lines. We only grow old because we stop playing isn’t that right? Well then he might as well stop playing right now because he was ready to grow old with this girl.

They were quiet for a couple of minutes. He was still leaning over the fence on her left while she enjoyed the crisp and wet morning. He enjoyed them both. The fog had cleared now and the sun would break the surface in a couple of minutes.

He remembered how stupid he could be when they met. Well it lasted the whole first year actually. After that he developed some sort I control over it. Every morning when he turned over in bed he would watch her sleep until she woke up. He would look her deep into her eyes, smile that boyish smile he knew she liked and say
“For everyday you get more and more beautiful. I can’t wait till tomorrow.” He hadn’t said that in a long time. Perhaps he should do it now. No, that would only ruin it!

He couldn’t bare the silence any longer.
“Do you there’s an old saying that goes like this: ‘The night is always darkest before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.’ Still standing here watching you, it feel like the sun has already risen. You blind me. I am so thankful that I get to look my sun in the eyes every morning as she rises. In a couple of minutes you will have the sun’s glow over you like you did at the coffeehouse that morning 3 years ago. For 3 years I have been so happy because I am the one that lights you up. I wanna watch the sunrise with you this morning. I will help you today or any other day with anything you need to be happy. Whatever it takes to see you smile. I am so excited that I am the man you want to grow old with.”
His hands were everywhere as he was talking and he stared her right in her green eyes. Tired and beautiful as they were. He came over the fence and sat down on the bench next to her with one leg on each side. He put her hair behind her ear and continued.
“Promise me, that you will never take any of that away from me!”
This was obviously no question and obviously no doubt. She didn’t know what to say. Well what do you say after somebody has been talking about how great you are? She didn’t really find “Thank You” as an appropriate word. It all came a bit sudden. She smiled, kissed his lip and grabbed his neck as she said
“I promise! It’s gonna be a great day!”
As they sat there the morning sun rose from the sea and painted the sky in beautiful colors. It reflected the sea like a mirror and the trees around, sparkled with diamonds. Morning was here.
“Well, would you look at that sunrise.”
She observed the sunshine on the sea while he couldn’t stop staring at her instead. “You look beautiful.” She didn’t say anything. But she was thinking a lot. There was actually no other place she’d rather be right now. With nobody else, nowhere else and under no other circumstances. He put his right leg on the other side of the bench and put his arm around her. “Here.” She wrapped some of the blanket around his legs too.

“So you watch me wake up in the morning do you?”
She said it with a big smile as if she expected a funny answer.
“Well I always get up before you do and you sleep so heavy and peacefully. When I watch you sleep in the morning, I sometimes get late for work. I don’t want to wake you, you know. Although you sure as hell need no beauty sleep!” She giggled as if she was 15 and had been asked to prom.
“So why are you so tired in the morning anyway? Do you sleep in a lot?” Well that was actually supposed to be her own little secret.
“Yeah I usually do.”
“Really? Why is that? Having sleeping trouble?”
“Well, not quite. You see every night after you’ve fallen asleep I can’t help but watch you sleep all night. I always go to sleep right before you wake up.” She kissed his forehead as if she had “won” the discussion and looked satisfied towards the sun. His jaw dropped and so did his words. “So you don’t sleep enough because you stay up to watch me sleep all night?” He felt a bit charmed actually. This woman stayed up all night to watch him breathe in and out for hours.
“Yeah, that’s right I do. And promise me you will never take any of that away from me!”
“I promise! It’s gonna be a great day!”
She sipped her coffee and the smoke from it made a fog around them. She felt tired and leaned towards his shoulder. Well, she had every reason to and he understood.
“Look, I’m sorry but I’m gonna have to get to the office this afternoon. There’s this meeting my boss needs me for.” He waited for the response. As nervous as he was, he didn’t want to upset her.
“This afternoon? Today?” She couldn’t believe it. He just promised to help out today. He nodded. “But we have a bunch of people coming and rooms to clean and food to make and things to….” He interrupted.
“Honey! Honey! Honey! Relax. Breathe. I’m getting a raise.” He smiled. She looked surprised.
“What? You’re getting a raise?”
“That’s right. Thanks to three years of hard work.” He kissed her hair.

“Now drink your coffee.”

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